e-book Bullying Bosses: A Survivors Guide

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Even the potential legal ramifications that could present from this type of privacy breach may not deter the bully.

🌟 THE ASSHOLE SURVIVAL GUIDE: How to Deal with People Who Treat You Like Dirt! - DR ROBERT SUTTON

This dynamic is one reason why experts advise that employees should keep all personal information close to the vest in the workplace Mueller, This caution should extend to professional interactions and social events where colleagues might be in attendance. The voracity by which women bully other women, as well as men is surprising, particularly with recent initiatives focused on outing males who engage in both bullying and sexual harassment of their employees.

How To Find Closure After Workplace Bullying: A Survivor’s Story

The collaborative goal is to grow initiatives for women, while assuring a safe and equitable workplace for all. Amid the importance of these very public efforts, it seems antithetical that female bosses would so fiercely continue to bully those of their gender, and with such prevelence. The widespread episodes of sexual harassment, now regularly reported across the media involve the same dynamics as those for bullying; individuals have abused their power to threaten, humiliate, and intimidate another person or persons. Why Do Women Bully other Women? I have been a victim of, as well as witness colleagues and friends experience the following behaviors and dynamics over the years:.

The implications are beyond concerning:. We Can and Must Do Better! Calling out, identifying, and managing workplace bullying must be dealt with swiftly and directly. This has been discussed in prior blogs and articles, with an abundance of strategies and resources provided. In addition, there must be advocacy for the development, implementation, and support of initiatives that empower women in the workplace.

The following suggestions are a start in the right direction:. I am confident we can do better. Every step forward yields progress, no matter how big or small.


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Until next time Stay Resilient,. Brown, L. Dellasega, C. Drexler, P. Falzoi, D. Also flaunting status, mood swings, ignoring a person, aggressive posturing, undermining someone and spreading stories, trumping up charges against co-workers, innuendoes, setting a person up for failure and colleagues ganging up against a co-workers, are further examples.


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Overloading and abusing staff, racial discrimination and any unfair practice are hostile to the well-being of the employee and fall within this category. Equally serious but more dramatic than bullying is physical violence and homicide in the workplace. The irony is that, while workplace violence and hostilities flourish in corporate South Africa, we can hardly afford the time, energy and talent wasted by this crippling phenomenon.

Add to this sabotage like petty theft, industrial espionage and the planting of viruses by frustrated employees, and we are talking billions of Rands wasted. Who are the perpetrators? The good news is that not all perpetrators are sociopath. Normal over-ambitious and opportunistic people bully too. Everybody can be guilty of bullying at times though. It is a "how-to-bully-and-abuse subordinates" book for corporate climbers.

This cold-blooded book's advice reminds me of the sociopaths most outstanding characteristic; they don't care what distress their action cause, as long as they reach their goals. Some perpetrators would be driven by a lust for power the reason for others' behavior could be want of approval through competition, ambition, greed, incompetence, feelings of entitlement, inferiority, fear, anger, sheer opportunism, etc.

Sociopath bullies are fascinating and charming, and notorious for their mimicry and callous behavior Whether some bosses just follow Wakeman's advice or are indeed sociopaths on a troll, is not the issue. It must be realized that this behavior is very harmful and unproductive and must be stopped, if necessary through legislation. Why and when do colleagues and bosses bully? But even if the corporate culture is co-operative, workplace hostilities go "underground" and would become very sophisticated.

The effects on victims. Work Trauma has a devastating effect on the victims' productivity, emotional and physical health. The victims waste, according to research, between 10 and 52 per cent of their time at work defending themselves and networking for support, thinking about the situation, being demotivated and stressed, let alone absences due to stress-related illnesses.

More often than not, victims blame themselves and doubt their own self-worth. They feel shame and guilt and replay incidents over and over in their minds, wondering if they could have done anything differently. They are anxious and troubled.

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As one victim so eloquently described it on e-mail: "There is a huge difference in the pre-bullied me and the post-bullied me. At present I jump at the sight of my own shadow, am terrified of meeting people, am unable to make eye-contact with people, get extremely agitated if people raise their voices etc. At first glance someone might easily think, no wonder she was bullied, she got no self-confidence or anything!

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Yes, these things are not the "real" me. It is just the way my trauma manifests itself". Professionals and the public are often misled by the vulnerability of the post-bullied person. Generally, the trauma of the experience leaves the victim feeling powerless, disorientated, confused, helpless and paralyzed. It tends to be sudden and overwhelming - as if it owns the person. In the above case, the victim suffers from PTSD and the prognosis is that it may take her years to recover.

There is nothing "wrong" with victims. In fact, most people believe that if they do things right, work hard etc. This is just a way of coping with our fear of being at the mercy of another person. But the closer we get to the victims, the closer we get to dealing with our own fears.

Targets or victims are by no means wimps who deserve to be treated less than dignified. Victims are often selected for unfair treatment because of their abilities and competence and for the perceived threat they pose to the perpetrator's career ambitions. Create a written plan to prevent future problems. Communicate with your boss in person, via phone or through email that you have examined the issues raised and would like advice on which options of your strategy to implement first. Record any instance that made you feel bullied.

Include when and where the incident occurred, who may have witnessed the incident, and any words or behaviors used during the incident that made you feel demeaned, devalued or depersonalized. Document ridicule, sarcasm, sullen silences and dirty looks, exclusion from communications that affect your ability to do your job, and any evidence of manipulation, ostracism or rumormongering.

Bullying Bosses: A Survivor's Guide: How to Transcend the Illusion of the Interpersonal

Request a meeting with your supervisor. Bring your performance self-analysis, any documentation you have about tasks and deadlines, and any documentation you have of the dates and times you received inappropriate criticism in front of co-workers or upper management. Present your list of all the tasks assigned to you that month. Discuss whether any tasks that do not match your job description should ever take priority over those that do match.

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Survivor’s Guide to being in a Toxic Workplace

Ask your boss to help you decide which tasks should take priority when their deadlines conflict. Discuss the criticisms you received without any finger-pointing, emotional outbursts or insubordinate words, tones or body language. Use "I" statements, such as "I felt humiliated Request a meeting with the appropriate person or people above your boss if the meeting with your supervisor does not result in an improvement in the way he treats you in the future.


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